I conceived after 15 miscarriages
15 miscarriages, diagnosed with PCOS and a small womb, a cheating partner… Korrina’s life has not been easy, but it’s such an inspiration. Despite all the difficulties she pulled through and is now the happy mother of a little boy and has another baby on the way. Here is her story.
I had my first miscarriage at the age of 17. I had been with my boyfriend a few years he was a couple years older than me. I cried for days, going over what I could of done wrong, wondering what I could have done differently. All the “why me?” questions…
As the years went on we tallied up 13 miscarriages in the 10 years we were together. Around the sixth miscarriage I became numb to them. No longer crying or showing any emotion. When people asked about it, I would reply the same platitudes such as “oh well it happens”, or “Que Sera Sera2.
At the age of 22 I decided to seek medical advice. I was told I had PCOS and a smaller than average womb. It made me feel like a failure as a woman, and this did start the tears over again.
The doctor said I would never be able to carry a child of my own. I felt broken.
The only thing I could do was lose some weight to relieve some of the symptoms of PCOS. So I did. I went from 24 stone to 12 stone through exercise and eating a little healthier. This also gave me something other than trying to have a baby to focus on It was hard.
Seeking alternate solutions
My friends were all having children. It was a constant reminder of what I wasn’t able to do, making me even more like a failure.
My partner and I looked into other ways to have a child.
We started with fostering. Unfortunately the assessor told us we didn’t have enough experience with children to be foster parents. It ruled out the fostering option.
So we decided to try IVF.
My infertility destroyed my couple
IVF is a long process. Unfortunately while we were waiting for our tun, my partner cheated and had a child with another woman. My world crumbled. Obviously it was the end of our relationship.
It made me feel even worse. I couldn’t have a baby, I couldn’t keep my partner happy and faithful…
A week after I received the news we had been approved for the IVF. Making the phone call to cancel the IVF crushed me.
It was the drop to many. My life went on a downward spiral with alcohol.
Eventually I met someone new. We had a contraception mishap and pregnancy number 14 also resulted in miscarriage. That relationship ended and I continued drinking excessively.
Picking myself up and moving on
After a few years I made the decision to turn my life around. At 27 I moved 170 miles and stopped drinking completely.
I wanted a fresh start somewhere new, somewhere no-one knows me or my past. I went back to college to get new qualifications. Focus on getting back on track and trying to forget how badly I wanted to be a mum.
I was still trying though. I met a guy a short relationship that ended a week after miscarriage 15.
Four years ago I met my now husband we started as a fling he is a lot younger than me. It was supposed to be fun but feelings grew.
After dating for three months, I got pregnant. He was not thrilled at first, it was too soon.
After my previous miscarriages, I did not want to get my hopes up. I told him we shouldn’t make any plans until we hit 12 weeks. I didn’t think we would.
Another pregnancy like the others?
We had lots of doctors appointments. At six weeks I became very sick. I couldn’t keep any form of food or drink down. The doctors gave me multiple anti sickness nothing worked. But we made it to 12 weeks.
I was still very ill and told my partner not to plan anything until we hit 20 weeks.
Everyone kept telling me being this sick was a good thing, it meant my hormone levels were really high. They saw it as a positive. I was still very sceptical. After all I had been told for years I couldn’t have children. It was only a matter of time before something went wrong…
At first I was more scared than anything. I didn’t think I could carry a child to term. My husband was very supportive at every stage of the way. Reassuring me as best he could.
As the pregnancy progressed I started to get more excited and hopeful. Looking at baby clothes, trying to pick names… The latter wasn’t an easy task. Everytime we would pick something someone would comment on it and make me change my mind.
In September of 2016 I went into labour 8 days late and gave birth to a healthy baby boy, a big boy. 8 pound in weight and 58 centimetres long. Not bad for a smaller than average womb, a woman who was told she would never carry her own child.
Miracles do happen. He is mine. I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
More than one miracle
Fast forward 3 years, our little boy is happy and healthy. And you wouldn’t believe me but we’re expecting our second child! This pregnancy has not been without its fears and issues but I’m almost there.
All my miscarriages, all my heart breaks have been so worth it. Of course I could have done without it, but I’m so happy now with my cheeky little boy. So I guess the moral of my story is to never give up. PCOS means it’s going to be difficult to have children, not impossible. Me and my children are living proof of that.